How Millennials Are Killing All The Articles Written About Millennials Killing Things By Literally Killing Boomer Journalists — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact After a solid ten years of journalists constructing wanky thought pieces blaming millennials for killing countless industries, traditions and institutions, the gauntlet has finally been laid to rest…

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Study: 97% of temporary insanity cases caused by those goddamned cicadas

EVERYWHERE, ALL AROUND YOU, ALL THE TIME ― A report conducted this summer by the University of Guelph has found that 97% of reported cases of temporary insanity in Canada…

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“Pffft Big Woop NASA” Says Man Who Put His Celica Into The Only Pole In The ALDI Carpark Doing Dougheys — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights man is unimpressed with NASA’s recent effort to crash a satellite into an asteroid. Damien Clark says he’s done something much…

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Man Transitions Into Woman After Accidentally Taking His Wife’s Multivitamin

GARDEN CITY, CO — Local man Terrence Bilkerson successfully transitioned into a woman recently after taking his wife’s multivitamin. The transition occurred instantly after he grabbed the wrong bottle of…

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Parramatta Eels Hit The Sheds Immediately As Hindmarsh Pops Into Training To Offer Some Tips — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Parramatta Eels icon Nathan Hindmarsh has today spat the dummy, after being denied a hero’s welcome at his old club. The 49-year-old former captain was reportedly left…

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Optus Hacker Apologises For Everything And Says He’s Been Grounded For Entire School Holidays — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 9-year-old boy from our nation’s self-serving, sanctimonious “first state” of New South Wales has apologised for hacking into Optus and pinching the personal…

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10 Famous College Grads Who Prove How Smart College Makes You

Brought to you by: Praxis AOC: One of America’s foremost intellectuals, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has knowledge, wit, and wisdom that is as deep as it is wide. All thanks to her…

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17 favourite things people are saying about Liz Truss right now

John Plunkett. Updated September 27th, 2022 Whatever honeymoon period Liz Truss enjoyed as PM – we’d have to get a microscope out to measure it – the nascent PM appears…

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NASA Saves Face By Claiming Female Astronaut Running Spaceship Into Asteroid Was Intentional

LAUREL, MD — NASA’s DART mission ended in disaster today as one of their female space drivers crashed a spacecraft directly into an oncoming asteroid. To save face, NASA is…

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Are You A Fascist? 12 Signs To Look For

Do you think you’re just a quiet, patriotic conservative with good old-fashioned family values? Oh no! You may be a dangerous fascist! Study this list of fascist tendencies so you…

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